I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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