ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
