Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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