Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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