Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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