no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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