I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize