Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize