I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize