Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize