Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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