I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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