"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't tell me you're on acid again
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize