i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize