Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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