he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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