one two three fourrrrnication!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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