I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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