Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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