Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize