Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he thought i was a dude.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
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You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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