That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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