I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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