hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You smell like stripper and shame
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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