we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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