So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize