Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize