the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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