Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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