May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
where does the pee come out of this thing
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize