Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize