i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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