There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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