I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize