If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize