the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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