I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize