so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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