they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize