goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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