it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Blood and glitter go together right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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