come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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