pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize