Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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