Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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