no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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