Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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