i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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