More tranny stories later!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
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How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
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i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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