He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize